My name is Claire. I’m twenty-eight, American, and I grew up in the kind of childhood you learn to describe in clean, careful sentences because anything messier makes people shift in their seats.
I was raised in the system.
Before I turned eight, I had already learned how to live out of a bag. Not a cute overnight bag—something thin and temporary, always a little too small. I learned which adults smiled with their mouths but not their eyes. I learned how to memorize new hallways quickly. How to keep my shoes by the door. How to say “thank you” like it was a spell that might keep me from being labeled difficult.
People like to call kids “resilient.” I used to hear it like praise, like I’d earned something.
But resilience, up close, often looks like this: you stop asking questions. You stop expecting answers. You stop letting your heart settle anywhere long enough to be bruised.
By the time they dropped me off at the last place—the orphanage I’d later think of as my real beginning—I had one rule that lived in my bones:
Don’t get attached.
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